It was obvious that Dean had only recently shown up after Castiel's conversation with Sam. And even though Sam doubted that the older Winchester would ever do anything to hurt him, he didn't want to risk it. After all, his hallucinations were proof enough that Dean really hated him, regardless of what they may say about his past.
"Look, if I'm bothering you, then I'll leave," Dean stated flatly. "I just need to-"
"No, it' s okay," Sam cut him off. "What are you talking about?"
Dean sighed.
"You haven't been sleeping, right?" he asked. Sam shook his head. "And you're always spacing out and staring off into space," he added with a hint of concern in his voice.
Sam didn't respond. All he could do was stare blankly into space as he contemplated how to answer Dean's question. Dean frowned deeply at Sam's response.
"I don't know what to tell you," Sam eventually replied.
"Then just tell me one thing," Dean responded. "Are you okay? You seem different."
There it was. Finally. Just a simple question and yet Sam felt himself growing anxious again. For some reason, he was expecting Dean to push further. To try and convince him of what he was saying. Instead, the hunter simply gave Sam a sympathetic smile.
"Listen, man," he said quietly. "You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right?"
Sam blinked and nodded slowly. Of course he knew that.
"Do you mind if I sit here?" Dean asked, gesturing to the chair beside Sam.
Sam nodded and shifted away so Dean could sit. The two boys sat in silence for a few minutes as they just looked at each other, making small attempts to strike up a conversation. Eventually, Sam decided to break the silence.
"Have you spoken to your sister since we saw her last?" Sam asked.
A bitter look crossed Dean's face, causing Sam to instantly regret asking him.
"Not really," Dean answered with a shrug. "We haven't really talked since she moved away. I just wish she'd stay. She's my family, Sammy."
Sam couldn't help but feel pity for Dean. He wanted his sister back just as much as Dean did. Sam knew that Castiel understood Dean better than he did. At least Cas had a chance to make something new of his life now that he was finally free and away from Mary. And Sam certainly wouldn't trade places with him. Not for all the money in the world. He'd rather stay here with Castiel than have the chance to escape into some fantasy land full of adventures. □□ hoped that Dean felt the same way. Otherwise, Sam would probably end up spending the rest of his life wishing he'd never met Castiel.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you missed her," he replied, trying his best to keep a positive tone to his voice. "But don't worry, Dean. Things will work out in the end. I mean, look at your sister," he pointed out.
"She's still living by herself," Dean argued. "And it' s been four years. How long do you think she'll live by herself?"
"I'm sure she'll find someone else. She's good looking after herself. She's got a lot of talent. I mean…"
"I miss her, Sam," Dean interrupted.
Sam stared in astonishment at the hunter sitting across from him. For the first time, Dean had shown an emotion beyond anger or frustration. He'd almost looked sad. Sam wondered why. Then Dean spoke again.
"Did she ever mention me to you guys?" he asked, sounding almost like he regretted asking. "She never talks about it."
Sam bit his lip before replying. He knew the story was going to cause more pain to Dean, knowing that Dean was suffering in the aftermath of what his mother had done, but he couldn't lie either.
"Yeah," Sam muttered quietly. "She mentions you quite a bit whenever she writes. She misses you a lot."
Dean nodded. After a brief pause he sighed heavily.
"Okay," he said softly. "That's nice to know."
He turned to look back at his book in front of him, leaving Sam alone in the library once more. Sam sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair. He had no idea why Dean suddenly started acting so strangely. They had both known that their relationship was far from perfect, especially considering everything that had gone on between them for the past four years, but he'd thought it would fade soon after they separated to start university. Yet Dean apparently had no intention of forgetting about Sam. In fact, judging from all the things that Dean had told him the day before, he obviously still considered Sam important enough to want to be with him.
"Cas, wake up!" Dean yelled. He was sitting on the kitchen countertop waiting for Castiel to join him.
Castiel groaned as he woke up.
